But alas, the troll’s peculiar taste in food was not the only thing that was amiss that day.
Hodur was angered at Jhon relying on Thor to help him cheat at bowling, so in an act of
jealousy fueled vengeance, he cast darkness on the photos that were taken that day, making
them clad in too much darkness for use on the website. This does not make any sense. You
don’t summon the god of darkness to knock down bowling pins. You summon Thor. Thor
has that big massive hammer that will make those pins know their place. Oooooooohhhhh,
spooky darkness. Good if you want to scare children, but that’s not going to knock a single
pin down. And this is inaccurate anyway based on how gods work in the old pagan
polytheistic religions. Using Greek mythology as example, if you want to get into some chick’
s pants, you talk to Aphrodite. If you want to destroy the crap out of a neighboring city-state,
you talk to Ares. You don’t go to Ares if you want to get laid and you don’t go to Aphrodite
if you want to slaughter hundreds of people. Use some common sense people. And Norse
gods work the same way because in the realm of this chapter, I say all the ancient polytheistic
religions’ pantheons work the same way. So Hodur is just being a big baby and needs to learn
how to conduct himself in a more mature manner and deal with the fact that his darkness has
its place but is not all purpose like that flour you by at the supermarket.
Anyway, the band had to return to the forest to take more pictures. Tyrone was angered by
how the troll and Jhon kept getting attacked by trees of the forest, so he decided to seek
vengeance by destroying as many trees as he possibly could. He walked through the forest
and his evil presence knocked down the foliage about. Actually he was really just a klutz but
the idea of him radiating a tree killing aura of evilness sounds much more tr00, which is the
most untr00 way of spelling “true,” Frosty.
The forest was getting annoyed at his wanton destruction of the smaller trees so the ground
opened up to swallow him. The band continued taking pictures without him, tossing a note
into gaping maw of the forest floor saying essentially that if he doesn’t find a way out of their
before the show the following night Andrew’s out of the band.
The following night the band went to yet another bar to play a show, which almost didn’t
happen because the primitive navigation tools certain band members used sent them way out
in the wrong direction. Clad in Darkness played first and it was a good performance despite
some minor things like Andrew dropping a stick in Blibber Blubber and the Eternal Lollipop
and no one playing the same thing at the end of Crimson Patterns, but that part is just a
cacophony of dissonant riffs so no probably noticed. But at least Andrew was still in the
band, although no one has any idea how Marilyn escaped from the ground that had swallowed
him.
After the show, Coy was enraged and disgusted. Clad had opened for a hardcore band, which
the troll and The Skullsplitter were getting into. The troll had an excuse since he was
slamming down pint after pint of True Norwegian Ale so enough of his braincells were
currently drowning in alcohol that he probably had no idea what was going on, but Andrew
was stone cold sober. And he was standing up and playing air guitar like Ripper Owens does
at Iced Earth shows, which is never excusable after any amount of alcohol, especially if the
amount is zero. Coy was embarrassed by how stupid his band mates looked. Jhon didn’t
care since he was too busy enjoying the company of local cradle robbing harlot Gretchen
Novakovich. He was also laughing at the troll’s speculation on how unhappy Coy must be.
The troll makes fun of his band mates a lot because he’s a jerk.
After that band was done another nu-metal/hardcore/metalcore/screamo/whatever type of
band played. I can’t keep track of all these ridiculous sub genres. They all suck and have
stupid names but the troll looks like he fits in with that crowd. Care to explain this mister the
troll?
This show lineup must be the work of Creidhne. Creidhne’s forces are too weak to make a
direct attack on Clad in Darkness after the defeat at the Battle of Fort Big Sexy, but he can
exercise his divine influence on promoters to put Clad with bands that are not in their same
sub genre of metal. How diabolical. But much to everyone’s surprise, the last band of the
night was good. Like really good. And the guitarist was waving a flag of trueness in the form
of a shirt that had the word “Opeth” scrawled across it. And this band sensed the trueness of
Clad in Darkness and wished to play future shows with them. It seems that his attempts at
sabotaging a Clad show have failed, and once again Creidhne caseys in his attempts to destroy
Clad in Darkness.