The band spent the remainder of the day between the arrival at the fort and nightfall arming
themselves for the battle. Fort Big Sexy only had one weak point, but the band figured their
enemies are nu metal and emo kids. Metal heads may be dumb but they can’t be as dumb as
the people they’re at war with. Night fell over Fort Big Sexy, and the band waited atop the
structure with bows drawn. The army stood motionless one hundred yards from the outer
wall. John, as with other cases, let his arrow fly early, piercing the neck of an emo kid who
is of no significance whatsoever and does not deserve a name that we will call Jeff. The
whining that followed was so annoying his fellow soldiers killed him just to shut him up. If he
was allowed to live much longer he would surely have turned his wound into a whiny song
that somehow related to his girlfriend dumping him or how his parents make him take too
much medication. And no one needs another one of those songs. After John had reloaded
and after the opposing army composed themselves, they returned to their stoic face off. As
luck would have it, it suddenly became a rainy and stormy night. After the rain started,
Creidhne’s army charged. Clad’s arrows fired with the frequency of the falling rain but it did
little to stop the advance of the army. Siege towers were quickly in place and the arrow volley
was lessened to concentrate on kicking down ladders and fighting in the melee. “I will
artificially inseminate your dog!” the troll yelled as he chopped a nu metal kid’s leg off. All
combat halted and all eyes were on the troll. Did he just say he would artificially inseminate
someone’s dog? What kind of retarded battle cry is that? People thought about it for another
minute and it still didn’t make any sense. So combat resumed and the limbs went flying. For
some juvenile reason, the troll and the Skullsplitter were keeping a tally over how many
enemies they have slain. The troll had about 46, while Andrew had a mere 12. Even though
no one else was counting, the other totals were John 44, Coy 38, and Casey had a whopping
62. Marilyn had quite a case of bloodlust that night. But in all fairness, Andrew is too short to
see over the top of the fort’s walls, so he was of little use during the arrow volley. In the
midst of battle, Coy noticed that a group of emo kids were making their way with a battering
ram to the one of side entries into the fort. He knew that could be the end of them, so he
grabbed the Skullsplitter and ran down there to fight them off. But Andrew could not make the
jump across to fight off the invaders. “Toss me” he said to Coy, who gave a surprised look
since everyone knows dwarves hate being tossed. “It’s the only way” Andrew tacked on to
justify this personal shame. “But not a word to the troll!” Coy smiled, “Not a word,” and
flung Andrew into the invading party. Andrew crashed into them, knocking them and their
battering ram into the moat. That put an end to their invasion. The door they were trying to
break down happened to be unlocked, so Andrew went through the door, locking it behind
him, and made his way back to the battle. Coy headed back up the way he came, knowing
first chance he gets he’s bragging about killing some emo kids by throwing Andrew at them.
Back in the battle, Andrew decapitated a nu metal kid. Thanks to Coy throwing him, his count
was now at 54. He taunted the troll, who informed the short angry one he was at 119.
Marilyn announced they were all in the 100’s, and Coy should rightfully get credit for the 40
that were carrying the battering ram since he threw Andrew, which brings Andrew’s count
down to 14. The battled raged on and on. Nu metal and emo kids do not have axes like black
metal fans, and they are swordless due to the fact they don’t even know what power metal is,
so this battle was going rather well in Clad in Darkness’s favor. It would probably be over
now if there weren’t over ten thousand of these guys. But a spark caught the band members’
collective eyes. Emo kids carrying a lit keg of explosives were running across the battering
ram in the moat to the wooden gate, Fort Big Sexy’s one weak point. I guess that’s what
Clad in Darkness gets for labeling and making generalizations about whole groups of people
based on a few dumb members. Damn those emo kids for showing us our folly!
The main wall protecting the interior of Fort Big Sexy was blown wide open. The troll
hammer had been swinging wildly during the battle, and it smacked John right across the face
when the band fell down from the blast. Creidhne’s minions were still entering from the siege
towers and ladders and now running straight into the inner sanctum in greater numbers. Clad
in Darkness, still somewhat disoriented from the blast, were recomposing themselves only see
themselves surrounded by nu metal and emo kids and much greater numbers which were
growing at a faster rate. They kept swinging their axes and chopping them down but it was
only a matter of time before they would be engulfed. But the sun was starting to part the
clouds and light shone down on the battle. They had made it to first light, and Hodur should
be there soon to save them. Sure enough, they saw him standing on a hilltop in the distance
next to Odin atop Slepnir. Odin was holding John’s pet Raincoat. He galloped towards the
broken wall with brilliant light surrounding him. The stench of Raincoat killed Creidhne’s
entire army who were within ten feet of it and it sent the rest running away gagging. Odin
reached where Clad in Darkness was surrounded and John’s pet quickly killed their attackers
with his odor. The pet has been a long time pest at practice, so the band had an immunity
built up to the smell. Odin laughed evilly and dropped off the pet, and he and Hodur vanished,
leaving the smelly one with Clad in Darkness. They made it through the night, and it was now
time to get ready to return to the bar where Hodur made his first appearance. And because
the night was spent killing thousands of people, Night’s Blood could not be practiced, making
its performance uncertain. But it would be a train wreck if it were to be played.