Anyway, Coy crept through the studio silently, looking for Koi. Little did he know that Koi's
sanity had deteriorated to the point of enjoying being locked in the tiny box, and that was
exactly where he was hiding, where he could remain unseen by all. Creidhne, who had been
busy meddling in other bands' affairs during the day, was not aware of what Coy and Koi
were up to. He appeared before Coy and proclaimed, "Despite all that I have done for you,
Koi, you lack the ability to do any better than Coy. For your failures, I curse you to live the
rest of your days imprisoned in the body of a goblin!" Coy was utterly confused, and also
rather unhappy. Not only did he fail in killing Koi and getting back into the band he helped
start, he was now a goblin. Coy ran away in shame, and oddly enough no one in the studio
was aware that any of this had happened.
A few nights later, the demo was completed and was selling rather well. Koi, Kris, and
Grendel had been lying to Andrew about the sales in order to keep him from getting his cut of
the money. Andrew was wondering how no one was buying the demo, even though the
inventory kept shrinking. Eventually, he was told that drummers aren't supposed to ask about
such things and was promptly fired from the band. Little did he know that the proceeds from
the demo sales had gone to purchase Alesis the Bonechewer. Alesis the Bonechewer is a drum
machine that looks slightly like one of those mousers from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It
provides drums, but it can also chew through things and kill stuff. Hence its name. Given that
Alesis looked nothing like Andrew, there was concern people might notice he was a new
member. This thought troubled the string section for about a minute before they remembered
(to drive the joke even further into the ground) he's a drummer. No one will notice because
that would imply the fans acknowledge that Andrew even exists.
* * * *
When the outcast members of Clad in Darkness had more or less forgiven each other for the
mass firings and finished laughing at Coy for botching his assassination attempt and becoming
a goblin, they were now trying to plot a way to get their band back. Well, the original
members minus Andrew. He was currently in prison for getting too many traffic violations in
his longboat, the most recent being his attempt to jump over a shark. He tried contesting that
one but he obviously lost. From a legal standpoint, his defense argument was true (pun
intended), but they just wanted to throw him in the dungeon for being dumb enough to think a
kid with a plastic fin on his back swimming in the fjords was actually a shark.
Getting Coy back into the band would be the most difficult since he no longer looks like Koi,
but the troll had an idea to take care of this problem. In order to do this, he would have to be
back in the band before the next show, and since a solo bass thing wouldn't suffice for his
ritual, he would need the help of John. Disposing of their doppelgangers would be the only
way to get their band back. In reality, the original members could just rename themselves
since they are Clad in Darkness, despite some other people currently having the name, but
none of them were smart enough to think of that.
Disposing of Kris would be easy. Much like her brother, she was easily distracted by attention
from members of the opposite sex. The troll simply simply raided a village to get the funding
to pay another black metal band enough money to become a temporary harem for Kris. While
Kris was out being a party favor, the troll bought a wig and Koi and Alesis were none the
wiser.
Disposing of the Grendel would be a much greater undertaking. No one knew where the
Grendel lived when he was not with the band, but he was said to frequent fine restaurants. He
not only had a reputation of eating other customers and waiters, but was also a lousy tipper.
This put John at a disadvantage, as he had no source of income and was always broke. He
was able to strike a deal with the owner of a great restaurant because of the Grendel's
reputation. If he could banish the Grendel, his meal would be on the house.
After John had sufficiently stuffed himself at the dining establishment, the Grendel finally
decided to show up. Unlike Coy, John was too image conscious to bring a sword with him, so
he had to battle the monster unarmed. He leapt at the beast and a struggle ensued. Creidhne
was observing the battle, and knew that John didn't have a prayer against the legendary beast.
He decided to even out the match by bestowing temporary superhuman strength on John.
John was unaware of his divine aid, and when he attempted to put the Grendel in an arm lock
the monster's arm just snapped right off. The monster screamed in pain, as a confused John
proceeded in beating the monster with its own severed limb. The beast ran away, never to be
heard from again, and John kept the arm as his grisly trophy (totally true, grim and necro).
Lacking an arm, the Grendel would be unable to play guitar, and John was back in the band.
Disposing of Koi was the only obstacle left in reforming the group. Well, besides Andrew, but
they could just smash Alesis after he got out of jail. Besides, Alesis didn't sound all that bad.
Alesis may even become permanent if Andrew had a fatal run in with Varg during his
imprisonment.
The troll could now execute his plan for Koi, but he would need the aid of John and Mexual, a
man from the land of Mexicania. With the help of these two, an ancient ritual may finally be
done, and the days of Koi would soon be over. Clad in Darkness returned to Los Cazos to play
another show. You'd think they would have learned not to play there after the last show, but
they aren't exactly in high demand to play at real venues.
Koi suspected nothing. He had seen Mexual at the last show, and had no reason to think
anything of his presence at this one. Mexual was gradually making his way towards the front
of this crowd, and when he got close enough, the troll and John glanced at each other and
nodded to acknowledge that the time had come. They began playing the ancient ceremonial
music, which came as a surprise to all present. No one knew what they were doing. Mexual
rushed the stage and grabbed the microphone away from Koi, and thus the invocation began.
"TRRROGGGGDORRRRRRRR!!!!" was yelled, and the ground began to shake. The
invocation continued, "TRRROGGGGDORRRRRRRR!!!!"
The ground burst open, and a very ridiculous looking dragon emerged from the crater in the
stage (floor) in all his majesty. He exhaled flames, sufficiently burninating Koi were he stood,
and then disappeared back into the ground from whence he came. Coy scampered to the stage
and reclaimed his red Jackson, and Clad in Darkness was finally back to its true lineup. Except
for Andrew, who was still doing hard time.