Back to the task of being a band, they were missing Andrew. Which means no drums. And
no drums means no shows. So the hunt for a temporary fill in drummer began. Someone
was found near the part of Norway the vocalist came from. You can tell what region people
are from by similarities in their names, and the fill in drummer was named Byrone. Byrone
seemed cool enough to play with the band, so they’ve been working on new material and will
hopefully record an older song that never made it onto the demo. This sub drummer would
allow Clad to continue being a band while Andrew is off having fun at SNU. The trouble is,
Clad in Darkness is a lazy band, so even with a fill in drummer, they weren’t playing any
shows or releasing any new material. Not that anyone cares about Clad shows or recordings.
No one has heard from Andrew in a while. He must be real busy studying and partying. It’d
be nice if he talked more to his far away band mates. Clad missed him and wanted to play
some shows with him and watch his drunken antics. I mean, he’s a drummer and we don’t
care about him.
It has come to John’s attention that Zombina Sans Skeletons (we’re going to ignore that she
died under the falling big red koi fish) has been cheating on him with Steve. This would not
stand. John might not be the most attractive of men in the world, but 7 out of 10 girls
surveyed said they would take John over Steve. What’s even more shocking is Zombina
thinks John looks like Predator. Zombina thinks Predator is hot. She is quite the predophile.
In fact, she just got her name changed. She is now Predophile. John decided to visit an
assassin to take out Steve. But he told Steve it was a regular medical check up and wanted
him to come with because John is afraid of doctors.
John made arrangements with the doctor before visiting over the phone, so when he walked
into the examination room he introduced Steve and stated why he was here. The “doctor”
pulled out a scalpel, and said, “This is a standard check up procedure.”
One must keep in mind that John does not have a lot of money so he could not afford an
expensive assassin. He had to go with a discount model. And you get what you pay for. The
assassin lunged at Steve, but Steve was able to react. Not fast enough to avoid injury, as he
did get a small part cut off of him, but it was a mere flesh wound. Steve was far from dead.
Steve picked up the steel medical waste trash can and hit his assailant on his head with it.
While the doctor was stunned Steve picked up the doctor off the ground and ripped out his
heart. He ate the heart, and discarded the carcass by throwing it at John. He then ran away,
leaving John behind. The small piece of Steve that was severed scampered off after Steve.
John staggered home from the “doctor.”
He was still in some pain from having the dead body thrown at him, but also kind of missed
Steve. Steve was the 30% Norwegian he had after all. He was now only 80% Polish, and
nothing else.
He remembered that day 6 months ago when someone (probably Coy or the troll) hired
embarrassment ninjas (yes, embarrassment ninjas) to stalk him (what, you hard of hearing?
Embarrassment ninjas. They do so exist) and they attacked (no, this is not the worst thing I
have ever put in here, shut up) him with a pimple-punch right in the middle of his forehead,
and then fled the seen. That was when Steve appeared, and no one else was around for John
to talk to. They became attached quickly, and haven’t left each other’s side in the past few
months. John felt empty inside with Steve gone.
~~~~
The grimmest and necroest of grim and necro holidays was upon us, and Clad decided to
celebrate it separately. Tyrone spewed blood on trick or treaters and took all their candy while
dressed in zombie costume. Tyrone, you are a flesh-eating ghoul. You look scarier without a
costume, and ghouls are generally accepted as being more powerful than zombies. Why
would you cover your real, natural rotting flesh with cheap plastic cheesy looking rotting
flesh?
Coy and The Employed Otaku (formerly known as The Bulging Pinko) went to Six-Six-Six
Flags Great Norwegian Theme Park with the troll and his girlfriend who has never been made
into a real character in this story because she never hangs out with the band. The troll had to
prove the governator right by attempting to win a prize by hitting the thing with the hammer
that makes the bell ring. He failed because he is a girlie man and voted for the Democratic
candidate as being the much lesser of two very bad options.
After more time was spent wandering aimlessly and going on rides, they saw something they
weren’t expecting. Steve was at the theme park. In a tuxedo. Dancing in front of the Venga
Bus. It turns out Steve left and got a job as the creepy old Six-Six-Six Flags dancing man,
Mr. Six-Six-Six. He was dancing to very bad dance music that sounded like it would be more
fitting from a barbershop trio than top current 40 nonsense.
“I know a slothy fellow,
who is really quite unique.
He's big and red and bellows,
with a marshmallow physique.
He doesn't play the cello,
and he never deigns to speak.
He's Frosty's leprous boil,
and they just call him The Steve!
If you've got a death wish
then you know who to call.
It's the Steve!
It's The Steve!
Who's the oily lumpus
that leaves streaks on the wall?
Vo-vo-lo-de-oh-do
It's The Steve!
That yucky little whatzit
who's no one's greatest pal
It's The Steve!
It's The Steve!!
Who did the Hully-Gully
on Shellie's birth canal?
Doo-wacka-doo-wacka-doo
It's The Steve!
Who's that jaundiced checkadace
with anger and pizzazz?
It's The Steve! (Yes, sir!)
It's The Steve!
Who's now an emoticon
That came from Danny Paz? \m/(>*<)\m/
Vo-vo-lo-de-oh-do
It's The Steve!
Who captures all the troll's violent aggressions?
Who post's using John's Internet connections?
He's dastardly!
He loves catastrophe!
His schemes are masterly!
He acts very bastardly!
That Stevey Steve is Stevin' all over town!
Who dropped The Red Haired Goblin
on his pedal machine? (Humdinger!)
Is it The Steve? (28 skidoo!)
It's The Steve!
Who put ex-con Varg
in the drummer's latrine? (Hello Sweet Pea!)
It's The Steve! (What's the rumpus?)
You know it's The Steve! (Take it home!)
The Stevity Steve all day long!”